I just wanted her to let me be mad! Just let me be angry for A SECOND. Stop trying to comfort me. Let me stew in my own rage!
I mean, how dare she? I called my mother to vent, to fuel the fire, feed the rage, stroke the flames and what does she do?! What does she do?! You would not BELIEVE what she does. She jovially recites these words “This is the day that the Lord has made…(I can hear her smiling through the phone…I grit my teeth)…This is the day that the Lord has made (I can imagine her bopping her head from side to side in rhythm with the cadence of these words…I roll my entire eyeball in obstinance)…This is the day that the Lord has made….”
She’s waiting on me. She does this all of the time and I now she’s waiting on me. She ALWAYS does this! So I mumble begrudgingly, “andIwillrejoiceandbegladinit.”
“Say it again, I didn’t understand you,” she taunts me with joy unspeakable joy.
I respond, angrily BUT clearly (she can’t have it all, I won’t allow it), “And. I. Will. Rejoice. And. Be. Glad. In. IT.”
I breathe but I’m still angry. She’s even happier than before. “Ok, now you’ll be ok,” she says. But I didn’t have a chance to yell. She wouldn’t give me an opportunity to shout. Arrrrrgghhhh!!!
I sigh…. give up the fight.
I’m not quite as angry anymore but I’m still not happy. She says, “ok, I have to go” Click.
I’m a little happy now, but I won’t let her know that.
To be perfectly honest. I feel much better. I can breath and the anger has left my chest. Fine. She helped.
Why are we like this? Why do we fight joy? Of all the things to struggle against, why joy? Why suppress our memories of God’s faithfulness? Is it because we know that, “when [we] THINK of the goodness of Jesus and all that He’s done for [us], [our] souls cries out Halleluiah???” Why do we fight the Halleluiah?
Perish the thought that we release our momentary anger and trade it for the reminder of eternal joy in Christ.
Dear friends, we live in time where we have grown so accustom to rain that we reject the sun, so used to cold that we reject warmth, so familiar with despair that we scoff at the unspeakable joy in God. Children do not seem to suffer from this same ailment. They lend themselves to any opportunity to be happy, seek and offer forgiveness, live unencumbered by anger.
Psalm 118: 24 says THIS is the day, because the psalmist was careful not to tie his joy to a future unknown…this joy he spoke of was not joy out of expectancy but joy in the RIGHT NOW, in this very moment, this instant, today. This day, an unmerited gift that we have never seen before and will never see again.
Everyday won’t be the best day but each day will be the Lord’s day and any day with God is a day with promise and possibility…and we shall rejoice and be glad in it.
Thank you for the reminder Mom.
May this moment, this very moment be the moment you remember and rejoice in the infinite goodness of God.